Volte-face

          Shantamma is packing tiffin box for her daughter Vydehi. Shantamma is rushing Vydehi to start quickly or else she would miss the bus and get late to her work. On her mother’s endless cautions and concern, Vydehi is feeling guilty.

          The feeling of doing something wrong is disturbing her mind and not allowing Vydehi to move fast. She is in such a confused state that she isn’t even botheredto present herself in a pretty saree. Her only intention is to go there.

          She looked at her over protective mother.

          What is the use of a loving mother when she can’t understand her own child’s heart. When she is known to be so compassionate, why is she behaving so cruel and revengeful in the life matter of hers.

          Shantammacame out along with Vydehi to see her off till she set foot on the street.

          Vydehi is sweating and her heart is pounding. She could hear her own heartbeat. She is worried ifherracing heart beat is heard by her mother.  If her mother smells it, it would be a hell for Vydehi.

          Vydehi turned around the corner of that lane and vanished.She was wondering if she could vanish from her mother’s knowledge as to where she is going.

          It’s just the same usual office route. It’s the same number bus which she daily travels by. Same old driver. Same conducter as well. It’s even the same Vydehi. But she is not in herself and lost somewhere.

          Can she deceive her mother and bunk her work and come back home in the evening as if returning from work. After coming back can she be the same Vydehi after cheating her mother ?

          What if she gets caught  ?

          “Hello mam, how are you doing..?” conductor wished Vydehi smiling.

          “Am I looking different today… what does he mean by asking how am I doing.”

          Lost in her thoughts, Vydehi nodded her head in positive mode.

          Her body was trembling.

          Bus reached Secunderabad station. She picked up courage and got out of the bus.

          Now from there onwards, she needs to change her regular route.

          Instead of Alwal Bus, she has to catch bus to go to Kukatpally.

          She is scared to change her route.

          Can she really reach there..?

          For the first time, she took such a bold step as her passion won the battle over her self-esteem.

          Unfortunately if her mother happens to know about it, then her home would become a prison for her.

          Vydehi got into Kukatpally bus and sat in a cosy corner.

          She started shivering with fear.

          “Ticket..Ticket… anybody tickets…” conductor came to her shouting.

          Vydehi doesn’t even know if she needs to buy a ticket as she has her route pass and not a general pass. In fact it is the first time she is going to a new place in a different route.

          She asked conductor “I need to go to Kukatpally. Where should I get down the bus”

          Conductor surprisingly looked at her and said “JNTU” and tore a ticket and gave it to her.

          Vydehi took the ticket and rested her tired head on the back of the seat and dozed off.

          The circumstances that led to this state of affairs moved before her closed eyes like movie reels.

***

          Vydehi  was accumulating  all dirty clothes for washing. She was checking her husband’s pant pockets before putting them in washing machine.

          She found a small card in one of the pockets. She checked it. It’s a card with details of Second Class school fees.

          She read the name of student as ‘Nihaara’. It is St. Ann’s School Term Fee Card.

          Vydehi read the House Address on the card as Miss. Priyamvada, Padmarao Nagar, Secunderabad.

          Vydehi got surprised. Who is this Priyamvada ?

          Is she the mother of Nihaara, a second class student on card ?

          How is her husband connected to these people ?

          Unable to guess the possible relationship of her husband with this mother and daughter, inexplicable pain seized her heart.

          Her heavily boozed husband sleeping since last night isn’t yet awake.

          Without making any noise, Vydehi entered into the bedroom and silently took his wallet to clear the doubt eating away her mind.

          In the wallet she found receipt for the school term fee paid a day before.

          Vydehi’s heart got burntwith angst. She checked all pockets of the wallet. She found an electricity bill and receipt in the name of the same lady Priyamvada.

          Her husband never took any interest in the household duties and his own children’s basic requirements. Then how come he taking care of some other family. What does that mean ?

          Vydehi suddenly got emaciated. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her thoughts are filled with grief and dejection.

          In the mean time, her husband came out of the bed room and saw his wallet in her hands.

          He burst out with anger.

          “Who is this Priyamvada ?” Vydehi screamed in faint voice.

          “My girl friend.. what would you do ?” he slammed her.

          “Did you ever take any responsibility of this family ? And you taking care of a girl friend and her family. My kids are forgoing even their basic comforts and you are dwindling money on a whore”

          “You bitch, how dare to call her a whore” very rudely he slapped on her face.

          “What should she be called then ? Serene and Chaste” her voice trembled with agony.

          “First of all why did you touch and check my wallet..”heraised his voice in an insolent tone.

          “Not only checking but also I would tear this bloody fee book” getting emotional Vydehi tore fee book into tiny pieces.

          In fuming madness and a fit of rage,he involuntarily picked a leather belt,Vydehijust then took off from his pants for washing and started hitting her in a blind male chauvinism.

          Spellbound on her husband’s reaction, Vydehi got shaken and stared at him moaning heavily in pain. Her delicate creamy body is bruised and she started wailing at the top of her voice.

          Her mental agony is more painful than her physical injuries.

          He is ignorant of her agony and only concerned of torn fee book.

          At that moment, coincidentally Vydehi’s younger brother Ravi came to their house on a casual visit, as it was Sunday. Looking at the scenario, he got speechless. He got furious. His jaws got tense with tightened lips and flared nostrils. Hisrage saw no limits but his maturity controlled his anger.

          Vydehi ran to her brother and clinged to him weeping in despair. He embraced her with concern and anxiety.

          On seeing Ravi,Vaidehi’s husband dropped the belt and left into the bedroom.

          Ravidesperately wanted to pick the same belt and hit back his brother-in-law. But he refrained his anger and pleaded his sister to quickly pack her important stuff and left to get a cab for her.

          The very next moment Vydehi with her two young kids moved to her mother’s solace.

          Vydehi’s mother, uncle and brother wanted to file a domestic violence case on him.

          After few days, Ravi went to his sister’s house to pick some more items and school books required by kids. Ravi  didn’t find his brother-in-law  regretful. Moreover he was planning to move out of that house. He wasn’t missing family.  Rather he wants to enjoy his freedom without any inhibitions.

          After hearing this, Vydehi’s mother and uncle decided to file for divorce. But Vydehi’s heart is not yet ready for separation from her husband and objected their plan of action. She wanted to see him and talk to him.

          Ravi and her mother warned her not to meet him as he doesn’t value her presence in his life.

          Vydehi waseven more worried about his health and food as he cannot cook himself. 

          It was a testing time for Vydehi. Though she knew a little about her husband’s immoral escapades and frailties of flesh, she honestly confessed to herself thatit was the first time he hit her as she added fuel to fire.

          It’s her weakness as her soul never stopped loving himher entire married life and her love for himknew no bounds.

          Bus stopped with a jerk and conductor shouted ‘JNTU’.

***

          Vydehi opened her eyes and got down.

          She walked towards new house her husband living ignoring her self esteem, righteousness and fairness.

          Her mind is in a big chaos and thinking in multiple ways.

          She could tolerate even if he doesn’t love his own family but its beyond her tolerance to accept his love for someone else.

          How can she bear his abounding impudence and meanlybehaviour.

          How could he be so abusiveto his wife.

          Knowingher undying love for himhe is taking advantage of her weakness.

          She entered into the lane of house and reached the door.

          She is profusely sweating out with heavy palpitations.

          She overheard a big laugh of her husband from inside thehouse along with a lady’s voice.

          Her fingers about to knock the door got freezed in disbelief. Her mind rebelled.

          She was angry with her colour blindness.Why should she still get dragged to him who is inclined to such mean and ephemeral sexual pleasures.

          She realized that her exceptional love for him made her misunderstand advises given by her well wishers.

          Knocking at the door and entering into the world of arrogant insults would give her a disenchanted feel of leaving behind her individuality and burying her very existence.

          After analyzing and reconciling that there was no valid reason to crave for him who stooped down to such heinous levels, an inadvertent decision flashed in her mind to keep her dignity in tact.

          Instead of knocking on the door, she firmly turned back locking the sad old reminiscences and opened a celestial door into the world of self esteem and dignity.

          Her painful assaulting memories now gleamed graceful radiant smiles looking at the threshold of new life with self respect.

          She won the battle of self esteem over her passion for her undeserving husband.

          Sita following Rama to the forest and Savitri fighting with Yama for her husband’s life is the past history. A proud smile embraced her lips challenging the present world. She realized the meaning of honour and purpose of dignified life.

          Vast transparent sky expanded its pearl white cloud hands welcoming her at the threshold of new chapter in life.