The Invincible Moonsheen
Part – 31
(Telugu Original “Venutiragani Vennela” by Dr K.Geeta)
English Translation: V.Vijaya Kumar
(The previous story briefed)
Sameera comes to meet her mother’s friend, Udayini, who runs a women’s aid organization “Sahaya” in America. Sameera gets a good impression of Udayini. Four months pregnant, Sameera tells her that she wants to get a divorce and the circumstances are conducive to it. Udayini asks her to listen to the story of “Tanmayi” and pursue her to make her own decision after listening to the story. Tanmayi and Shekhar, who met at a wedding ceremony, go to marry with the permission of their elders. After the marriage they started their new life in Visakhapatnam. A boy was born to the couple in a year of their marriage. Tanmay engages in her studies deeply and enjoys the friendship with her colleagues forgetting all about her household disturbances. Her parents came to stay with her for a month while Shekhar is away on his long-term camp.
***
MA second-year results declared.
Karun got first rank, Tanmay 2nd, Raju 3rd and Ananta 4th. Divakar obtained 2nd class. Tanmay observed the delight on Karun’s face for his best performance over the others. When Karun was altogether frustrated with the 4th rank last year, she thought that he was distressed about losing a qualifying rank for a merit scholarship. But his present vainglorious attitude in his character is queer to Tanmay.
Tanmay was totally satisfied with her second rank, and she thought it was a great bliss to her.
She went to the master’s house and paid thanks to the couple. They blessed her and hoped she would get JRF too.
She got off the bus and started walking towards the hostel with his son proudly.
The weather was pleasant, with a washed-out feel from the recent rain, and the roads looked fresh without dust. The creepers and the flower beds and the tender leaves on them swaying pleasantly. The joyful kid hurled plenty of doubts to her mother and she was giving answers patiently.
The news about her rank made everyone happy and chilling.
The cook brought sugar and poured it into her mouth. The Oriya cook said, “I will serve you a double dosa!”
Venkat held out a bouquet of Deva Ganneru flowers and said, “Congratulations!”
Murali, keeping down the colored pencil in his hand, remarked, “Oh, there is no looking back now onwards!”
When she opened the drawing she found on the paper a woman walking with her child jovially. Suddenly, she felt emotional, and tears welled up in her eyes. She folded her hands to Murali with respect.
The inmates of the hostel rounded up and showered upon her congratulations. Tanmay was greatly delighted. She paid thanks inwardly to her anonymous friend for the joy she was blessed with these people. She was anchored to the coast alone from the goalless drift and now blessed with such loving people around her.
***
In the afternoon, Tanmay observed a fair 20 to 22-year-old girl, seemingly with her parents, walking through the main gate with a heavy heart, looking badly insulted by somebody.
Tanmay wanted to know who she was and when she started stepping down, Murali came on her way after bidding farewell to those people.
Many doubts swarmed her head. Is that girl his sister or relative? Why was she crying?
Venkat, looking at Tanmay’s doubtful disposition, clarified, saying, “I know you are doubtful about that girl… before Tanmay completed her question, he added, ”Yes… she’s Murali’s wife!”
Tanmay looked at him unbelievably.
“Was he married?” she murmured.
“Yes, Of course… He was… it’s a big story, it’s indeed a story of child marriage…”
Tanmay shook her head unbelievably, “That’s not indeed my serious concern but why did Murali choose sainthood after marriage? And while the girl was miserably bewailing, no, no… he threw her into the abyss…why?”
She stopped breathing for a while.
Venkat jeered, “God knows! Buddha renunciated his wife and son, and so did Murali!
A year after their marriage, Murali chose this path, and after every pursuit of the girl’s side, the only answer he got was to live like a saint and choose another one for marriage…’ And the same was repeated a while ago…” Venkat finished.
Tanmay suddenly became restless. She wanted to escape for a while from there. She walked away from there and headed to Old age home.
She stormed inside with the thoughts of Murali.
She said to herself, “And this is Murali’s ideal?”
May this guy have the right to choose any path in his life, yet how would it be sensible after he vowed his life with a partner? Isn’t he selfish like Shekhar in abandoning his life partner?
She shook her head and said, “Oh, no!”
“It’s not proper to bring a comparison between them. Murali is a pure soul and empathetic to human suffering. But why did that guy dip his feet in tears to choose his path?”
Tanmay suddenly took notice of Murali coming on her way.
She sensed a deep agony on his face.
He curtly remarked, “Please don’t ask me anything whatever you want me to ask now…I’ll tell you everything when I wish”
Tanmay nodded in response and went ahead.
Then he continued, “Wants are the root cause of all sorrows…to vanquish the sorrows we must abandon our wants…Of course, this is Buddha we were preached to…then he took a deep breath and went on, “Surprisingly, she went away, listening to my words, but of course with tears! Tears can cleanse away the life, but the tears in ignorance are detrimental”
Tanmay looked at him dumbstruck, “He is hardly a kid of 25, is it renunciation or ignorance? Why this spirituality at his age? How could he balance like a dew drop on a lotus leaf?”
While she was coming back all of his thoughts invaded. “Wants are the root cause of sorrows; if we vanquish them, we can win.” She felt some sort of self-realization inwardly. Perhaps her present situation might have been related to his words.
***
That Sunday Ananta came to her. Tanmay wore a white Bengali cotton saree, looking fresh and bright. Ananta, looking at her, remarked excitedly, “Oh, what a wonderful change!”
“Don’t you like it?” Tanmay jeered at her happily.
“Hey, come on, girl! I just love to join you here with Raju at once!” She laughed and said, “I brought something for you…can you expect?”
Ananta took out some applications and handed them over to her.
When Tanmay was still in her confusion Ananta said,
“College Service Commission application form for applying Govt lectures. The second one is the State Eligibility Test application form.”
“Two exams in ten days! how can anyone cope?” Tanmay exclaimed.
“Your JRF experience will be a great help in this regard, So I brought you these two applications!”
Tanmay, breathing deeply, said to herself, Oh, true, the eligibility test is seemingly equivalent to JRF. No stipend is entertained, only it is entrusted to work as a lecturer. It’s just an option for JRF. But she doesn’t know anything about the College Service Commission exam.
She asked about it.
Ananta said, “These are government exams. Nobody knows when they will conduct. After eight years they suddenly declared. We will just attend the test. That’s all. As it is a state-wide exam, lakhs of Telugu aspirants attend this exam. For your kind information, there are only 30 posts. Capable people like us only compete till the end. The winner of such a competitive exam obviously will be the breadwinner in life, too!”
She continued, “Don’t think much about it…Your JRF provides you a 5-year stipend, whereas if you get a lecturer post, it feeds life long, and you will be settled once and for all!”
Tanmay said firmly, “It’s not about whether to take or not but how to take…”
Ananta laughed and said, “There you are! When Tanmay takes it up, it gets fixed, and the things take the course automatically.”
Meanwhile, the kid suddenly sneaked to her mother’s side and grabbed the application gently.
Ananta remarked joyously, “See! You had won half already with your son’s auspicious touch! how gently he touched it!” She exclaimed in wonderment.
***
In the evening, she sat for her meditation. Since her joining she was accustomed to meditation to maintain her mental peace and forget about all her worldly concerns. She was practicing it seriously to avoid certain inward and outward stresses like court cases, and taking care of her child. Moreover, as a woman, she needed more endurance to face certain trolling, cheap comments hurting modesty and many other things. A recent occurrence suddenly flashed.
As a warden of the girl’s dormitories, she had to play a mother’s role in the physical and mental-emotional problems of the inmates.
Girls in lower to 5th standard need no special attention but the above were prone to be attended. Some girls reported stomach aches or sickness and stayed in dormitories.
In the beginning days of her joining one to two girls were ever-present in the rooms till their parents were attended to get them back home for medical consultation. Tanmay understood the intention behind it and she began to counsel them. She held talks with them late at night on decency and decorum, hygiene, and many others. Certain parents, during their visit, inquired into her personal life. One of them even frequented his visit on the pretext of meeting his inmate.
One day, he proposed straight away, “I’m sorry to see you lonesome at this prime age; why don’t you think about a new life? If you are willing for this proposal I will marry you as my second wife!”
Tanmay felt exasperated and her blood boiled in humiliation. She controlled herself and sneered, “You better first learn some manners and then think of those lofty ideals about others…If you continue this further, I will complain to the school management!”
Very soon after that occurrence, the parents became silent and never approached her with such stupid proposals.
Certain headaches were extremely disturbing her moods in the recent past. Why was the lonely woman so focused on society? Yes, the woman without a man is a laughing stock and everyone targets her with degradation. She read somewhere a divorcee affects not only the two families but the entire society. She was an example of the mischief.
She wanted to list out the handicaps which she couldn’t attend personally. The one was going out alone after sunset. She stopped going out all these days because of a lack of confidence, and she built walls around herself and separated from the outside world herself.
She felt consoled by her secluded life confined to the hostel walls. Many challenges of a lonely woman are not as frequent as in the outside world in a hostel life. But the kid needs an exposure to the world outside. Certain issues related to males started influencing his little brain. She was brought up under good parenting, whereas her son was devoid of one, growing up. As and when she found parents coming there for their kids, showing great affection, she felt guilty about it and perturbed by her son’s ill luck.
She couldn’t answer his questions about his Dad.
At certain times she felt restless and infuriated at Shekhar’s thoughts.
***
The SET exam and Lecture Posts exam were completed in one week. She fared well yet no guarantee for the job. They will call based on rank and it’s altogether unimaginable to get a chance in such heavy competition.
The result date of JRF declared. The JRF office announces the results and then it will be forwarded to the concerned departments. They will send a convocation certificate to every selected student at home. She dropped her son at school and picked up a bus to university.
Tanmay suddenly felt a shiver in her spine. “If she failed to get it?”
She was swarming with disturbing thoughts. She solaced herself, answering to herself, “I did my best and there is always a factor of luck…She was walking absentmindedly on a bypassway on which usually the students in the university preferred to walk. The path was filled with dew drops on the grass blades. It’s like walking in the woods. She loved it. The squirrels jump away when the steps approach nearer, and the dragonflies buzz around the head, filling their stings with nectar from the coral vines. While she passed through the narrowed lane of wet, bushy thickets, the edge of her saree became wet with the laden dew drops.
The JRF office was not yet opened.
If the result was already available, they would display it on the notice board before the closing time the previous day. She looked up to the notice board 50 stairs away from her. A new sheet of recently pasted paper was visible from there. She began to feel her heart rate suddenly accelerated. She scrambled every step, losing hope, and stood up there right before that notice board, feeling dizzy. The list has 20 selected students, and it has two columns and rows, one with Karun, Raju, and Ananta’s names! Her name was not in the selection list meant for junior lecturer posts!
She felt a chill run down her spine and engulf her whole body. Suddenly, her eyes fell upon the lower list, but with a single name starting with T!
The row headed with a caption JRF selected candidates, but there were no candidates, only a candidate that is none other than Tanmay herself!
Tanmay couldn’t believe her eyes, and everything blurred her vision for a while; then she burst into tears, and soon she started crying aloud crazily. It’s like a groundbreaking, an upsurge of volcanic lava! She collapsed on the floor.
She cried out, “Oh my anonymous friend! You blessed me!”
“My love! Now I am fearless!”
She was talking to herself involuntarily aloud in a fit of emotion.
The morning was blessed and brought her boundless joy. In her rapture, she forgot her surroundings. Filling her moments more joyfully, the rain started pouring down suddenly.
*****
(Continued next month)
A post graduate in English literature and language and in Economics. A few of my translations were published. I translated the poems of Dr. Andesri , Denchanala, Ayila Saida Chary and Urmila from Telugu to English. I write articles and reviews to magazines and news papers. To the field of poetry I am rather a new face.