Bruised, but not Broken (poems)
-Challapalli Swarooparani
4. Prohibited Dream
My memory does not carry
Colourful dreams that
converse with my eyelids.
In my dream, someone chases me,
Always, as I keep running
Insecure
And towards an unknown destiny.
In fact, life too is like a dream!
I bundle up my identity and
toss it towards the horizon.
From childhood
I have been running
Through a human jungle
to get to that place
Where no one asks “Who are you?”
Yet, it chases me
Like a man-eater.
If, in elementary school
my dress and language showed me up,
in high school,
An asterisk next to my name on the notice board
made me an offender once again.
As I wrestled with books
Honed my scalpel-sharp intellect
An aged sacred thread
suspiciously scanned my expertise.
Unmindful of my inner responses
An invisible small pot to hold my spit
hung around my neck,
followed me to my seat,
kept watch round the clock
on my movements, dreams
my gait and laughter.
Like a sentinel it guarded my views and expressions.
Perhaps it dreamt of authority
Exercised remotely
over all my possessions…
After all this
I stopped running, and trained my eyes to dream
afresh. In that dream
I am the ring master, whip in hand
I control the beasts of the jungle.
Now, that is my daily routine.
(Telugu: “Voka Swapnam”, Translated by T. S. Chandra Mouli, retired English lecturer in Govt Degree College, Hyderabad and published in Mankenapoovu, an anthology of poems by the author, 2005.)
*****
(To be continued-)
Born on 25th May, 1968 At Pyaparru, Tenali Tq, Guntur dt., A.P. Parents: Mariyamma, Mantraiah. Presently working as Professor, Centre for Mahayana Buddhist Studies, Acharya Nagarjuna University, Guntur, A.P. Acting as Head, Chairperson, B.O.S, Centre for Mahayana Buddhist Studies, Acharya Nagarjuna University, Guntur, A.P. Acting as Vice- Principal, ANU College of Arts, Acharya Nagarjuna University, Guntur, A.P. Acted as Director, Centre for Women’s Studies, Acharya Nagarjuna University, 2012-19.
Eduction – Ph.D, (Regional Studies), M.Phil (History), M.A (History & Archaeology) obtained gold medal, UGC/JRF .
9 Books Published. Published more than 100 research papers in different journals and edited volumes.
Some of her poems are prescribed for a syllabus in M.A. English course in Sri Padmavathi Mahila University and M.A Hindi in Indira Gandhi Open University, New Delhi and PUC in Karnataka.
Her anthology, Mankenapuvvu was prescribed as a syllabus in A Telugu in Yogi Vemana University, Kadapa, A.P, Rayalasima University, Kurnool and Banglore University.
Presented 90 research papers in different National and International seminars and conferences.
Produced Ph.D degrees- 27
Presently guiding 20 Ph.D scholars